well, this is not actually the first time i cried in the office. what i meant is it's the first time i cried na work related.
it's because of stress.
stress hindi dahil madami akong ginagawa (hello? understatement na kaya un). na stress ako dahil sa iisang tao.
no hindi niya ako inaaway. na sstress ako sa kanya in a way na hindi sha nag dedeliver o nag peperform ng maayos.
last two weeks ako, i assigned hotels sa team ko for google places submission. i made it perfectly clear kung ano yung mga kelangan nilang gawin. and i also emphasized kung kelan yung deadline.. yung isa sa kanila nag file ng leave nung katapusan. sabi ko tapusin niya muna yung tasks niya kasi kelangan ko pa gawan ng report un. sabi niya oo at iuuwi daw niya sa bahay para matapos lahat. pag dating nung deadline, i found out na ang dami pa niyang hindi nagagawa na hotels. so tinext ko sha kahit naka leave sha. sabi niya tatlo lang yung hotels na hindi niya nagawa. but the truth is, seven hotels pa yung pending niya. nag lie sha saken! so yung mga hotels na hindi niya nagawa, i need to re-assign it to two persons from the team para lang matapos. so ok na... i thought tapos na ang problem ko and i'm already letting it pass kasi baka naman isolated case lang. i sent a report and went pretty well. im ready to move on na nga eh...
and then my director asked me to backtrack all the emails sent by my team sa mga hoteliers. i said no problem kasi naka cc naman ako on all of the emails they send. madali lang mag backtrack. iniisa isa ko yung email na sinend nila until dumating ako sa point na yung emails na niya yung i-ccheck ko. out of 20+ hotels na inassign ko sa kanya (which basically means na almost all of those hotels eh kelangang sendan ng email) eh isa lang ang sinendan niya. the first thing that came to my mind is "baka nakalimutan lang niya ako i-cc" so i asked him tungkol dun. pero with the reply i got from him, tuluyan ng tumambling ang mundo ko.. he didn't sent the emails dun sa ibang hotel and the only reason that he can give me is nakalimutan niya.
i cried and cried and cried. i was so frustrated. i was used in handling a group of people na lahat ay A-player and is performing very well. On the previous team that I handled, I never encountered late deliverables. 90% of the tasks are early and 10% lang ang on-time. All pass the QC with flying colors. The team also have its fair share when it comes to initiatives. Super bibo ang team na hawak ko noon. They don't wait for me na i-utos ang mga bagay bagay. nag kukusa sila. Though I'm still handling some of the people from my previous team, it felt like it's different before. I mean, dko naman nilalahat. Actually isang tao lang naman ang problem ko when it comes to performace (and another person when it comes to attendance but that's a totally different story). Kaya lang nadadamay yung teammates niya dahil sa bad performance niya. And what makes it harder is kaibigan ko siya. mashado siyang naging kampante sa friendship namin to the point of nawawala sa isip niya na boss niya ako when it comes to work.
Mahirap na masakit pero wala akong choice but to deal with it. Mabait akong boss sa totoo lang.. Hindi ako strict (well, pwera na lang siguro sa deadline at quality) but if u do your work well, ako ng bahala sa evaluation mo. I even gave someone a perfect evaluation score simply because he deserves it. Ganun ako kadali kausap. Kaya hindi ko magets kung bakit may mga taong kelangan pang maging pain-in-the-ass when in fact wala naman silang kelangang ibang gawin kundi magtrabaho ng maayos. I'm hoping talaga na sana ma-realize niya ang mga bagay bagay na to. I'm willing to help him in anyway I can basta ipakita niya lang saken ang willingness niya. Oh Lord help me 
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